Cannoli (The Hetalia Version of Cupcakes)
by Leaves-from-the-Vine
Summary: Based off the mlp story: Cupcakes! No mention of mlp...Just lots of gore! (Read at your own risk...nah, come on in anyways!) No flames, and I hope you like it Rated T for gore...but not as much as it could be...I suppose.


**A/N - So, this is my first story on here...yay! Well, I hope you enjoy it! ...And I put this under horror/humor because some of you with a bit of a dark side of laughs will find this funny! Reading this back to myself actually makes my chops start bustin'! XD Enjoy~**

The air was warm, the sun was shining and Germany, Japan and Italy were having a wonderful time.

"This food is very good, Italia-kun. I thank you."  
Italy grinned splendidly towards his friend.  
"Oh, Japan! It's okay; you don't have to thank me."  
"It is very good…" commented a certain blonde-haired nation awkwardly.  
Upon hearing these words, Italy jumped the bigger nation and wrapped him in a tight squeeze.  
Germany let out a yell of surprise before calming down and leaning into the embrace, uncomfortably and wondered since when Italy had become so strong.  
Managing to pry the smaller country off of him, he continued to eat, only to shift nervously. He looked up to find Italy's honey-brown irises staring at him.  
"Italy…?"  
"Yes, Germany?"  
"Are…you feeling alright?"  
"Yes."  
Italy had answered the questions calmly.  
A slight layer of innocence washed over him in the sunlight. His eyes wide open and head cocked to one side; like a small child betrayed any more questioning thoughts as Germany had realized just how cute he looked, just sitting there.  
Germany gave a warm smile towards the smaller country.  
Italy returned the smile and his eyes closed again.  
"Guess what we're having for dessert!"  
He reached back into the picnic basket that sat by his side and pulled out three of his specialties- cannoli!  
Italy beamed holding out the plate towards Germany and Japan; both taking one.  
As Germany took a bite, he had noticed Italy's stare boring into him once more, precariously; grinning even wider than before…almost insanely.  
He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong again, but before any words could come out he began to feel quite lightheaded as the world around him spun and his face met the ground.  
When Germany regained consciousness, all he could see was a thick darkness surrounding him. Attempting to move, he found that both of his ankles and wrists were shackled in heavy chains, attached to the wall behind him, tautly.  
"Italia! Japan!" He called out into the void, but getting no answer in return until the sound of an iron door opening and closing caught his attention from the far side of the room.  
Germany strained his eyes into the darkness in front of him.  
"Come out, coward!" He roared. "What is this?!"  
The figure began towards him, slowly and Germany gulped. There was something about the shadowy silhouette that made the body seem…familiar…  
"Come any closer and I'll make you regret it!"  
"Veh~ I don't like it when you yell. You know that!"  
"V-vat…?" Germany stuttered at the sound of the well-known voice.  
A light snapped on overhead, making the figure visible as their noses were almost touching.  
"But that's okay! After all…you're not as scary as you look!"  
Germany's ice blue eyes widened.  
"I-…Italia?"  
"Oh…how nice of you to have known." Italy snarled, emphasizing the 'known' part as he rammed the heel of his foot right into Germany's chest as Germany cried out in shock and pain from the blow.  
"Oh, what's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"  
Italy leaned down and whispered into his ear. "I'm afraid that if you yell again, I'm going to have to take it out."  
Germany glared at Italy, ice orbs meeting a much darker set of brown than he had seen earlier.  
"Italy…vat…? Vhy…?"  
Italy reverted back to his old self for a moment; "Because I love you!"  
Germany stared flabbergasted before beginning to laugh lightly.  
"Did...did Japan suggest this? ...Be-Because-"  
"He didn't." Italy growled, grasping Germany's bare forearms and pressing him back up against the cold wall before jamming a large kitchen knife from a nearby table into his flesh, causing blood to pour out, stapling his limb to the punctured metal behind him.  
"Ah….!" Germany gritted his teeth, trying not to make much sound and show off any weakness but the pain was strong.  
The one in his heart, worse.  
"This isn't about him, topino…This has nothing to do with him…this is just about you and me."  
Germany laughed quickly and Italy's eyes became sad.  
"Why must you laugh at me…? I just want to show you how much I love you!"  
Germany stopped and frowned. "Well-OOMPH!"  
"Whatever."  
Italy spoke, kicking him in the chest, again; knocking the breath out of him this time and turned to rummage through some drawers under the table.  
"…Let me go, Romano. I understand that you hate me for some reason, but I doubt that this is the way to solve it. Disguising yourself as Italy and trying to scare me won't work."  
Italy stopped rummaging and hung his head.  
"Germany…we've been friends for so long…how could you mistake me for my brother…? No matter."  
Italy rolled over a cart of sharp tools he had been preparing just for him.  
"Once I'm through with you, you won't ever forget my face! Veh~"  
Italy began to hop around cheerily and Germany began to sweat as the realization hit him that…that this wasn't a joke.  
"Veh!~Let's start!"  
Italy held up a saw and approached him, happily.  
"First, we need to get rid of those limbs so you don't try to attack me while I do the dissection!"  
Italy lowered the instrument to Germany's chained leg.  
"Nein, Italy…why not talk about this? Like adults. This isn't the way to solve a problem." Germany reasoned, trying his best to stay calm.  
"But Germany…the only problem is what is going to happen if and when you scream. For you."  
Ignoring the rest that the bigger blonde nation had to say, Italy resumed his work and began to work the teeth of the saw through his thigh, nice and slowly…  
Germany had been trained; he had prepared for torture like this. He trained his own military to withstand even the bloodiest of techniques...but still, nothing could prepare him for Italy. The shock of it all had left him defenseless as he let out a mighty scream of agony as the jagged blade tore through his flesh and bone, leaving his dismembered limb hanging by only a thread of skin before it gooeily fell off into a large puddle of warm blood below him.  
"Oh, Germany…" Italy sighed. "I told you not to scream…"  
A smirk then grew on his face. "Too bad for you…"  
And before Germany could process what was happening, Italy's lips were upon his own in a kiss.  
Germany then felt Italy's tongue forcefully drive its own path through his lips. Ushering, his own tongue out, Italy then grabbed as much of it as he could with his teeth and pulled on it before biting down. Hard.  
Germany cried out again and Italy drew back, a disgusted look on his face before spitting the bloody end of Germany's tongue out of his mouth.  
"Ick. Gross."  
"Eu Zink?!" Germany exclaimed through the pain to the best of his abilities with half his tongue missing and the leftover blood filling his mouth, making him choke.  
"Hmm…? You're still yelling…"  
His eyes then lit up again in a brilliant idea.  
"Stay there, Doitsu~ I'll be right back!" Italy ordered as he ran back through the door and soon returned with a giant, steaming pot he carried with oven mitts.  
"I was going to make pasta…but that can wait."  
"Eu're nut Itawy!" Germany bellowed again at the friend he had once known.  
Italy laughed. "Shut up and open your mouth."  
Germany shook his head violently, stern icy eyes now burning hot.  
"Neen."  
Italy puffed.  
"You always want to do it the hard way. Train hard, work hard…by the end of this, I'm going to make you beg hard too!"  
Italy raised the heavy pot over his head, with slight difficulty and carefully poured, white-hot, boiling water on Germany's face. Opening his mouth out of instinct to shout once more only made the scorching liquid burn its way down Germany's throat, scalding it severely and obstructing his air pipe even more so.  
When the waterfall had finally ceased, Italy laughed again.  
"Oh, Doitsu~ your face looks so funny!"  
Looking down to the metal-seeming floor, now partially flooded with water swirling with blood, he could make out his reflection but only a bit.  
His hair was a wreck as loose strands of it flopped down across his forehead, drenched. His skin was paler than normal and his face was splotched with pink burn spots, stinging awfully as blood salty sweat dripped into the wound.  
"Have you had a long enough look? Better take a good look at your arms and your other leg too, because they're about to go, veh!~"  
Suddenly, Germany began to thrash about in his restraints aggressively.  
"Veh, Germany…It's only going to hurt worse if I miss, you know..." Italy yawned sleepily. " I'd better get this done and over with so I can sleep~"  
Raising the saw once more, it slashed a bit coarsely through his other leg and hurt even worse. But Germany couldn't scream anymore. It only caused him more pain as his throat was burnt raw and blood still dripped down his windpipe.  
By the time Italy had gotten to his arms, the saw had practically worn out on being used on his legs, sawing away all of the hard bones and muscle that Germany had sustained; and it was the only one Italy had!  
Italy tapped his foot, pondering his options for a moment before rummaging some more through a closet in the back, only to return with, to Germany's horror, with a chainsaw.  
"I don't know why I hadn't used this to begin with! It would have gone so much easier. And it would have drowned out your screaming! …Oh well." Italy shrugged, pulling the starting handle out and letting it rev up before turning to continue the other nation's dismemberment. But to Italy's surprise, Germany had already passed out.  
Germany's eyes fluttered open a short while later to find an angry Italy glaring at him a death stare, looking down upon him as he realized he was now laying on a table facing the ceiling.  
"That's not fair, Doitsu! You never take naps and after I just say that I'm going to take a nap after this, you just go ahead to sleep! Why do you have to make this so hard for me? Why do you always try to make everything so hard for me…? But that's okay! I just went ahead and cut off your arms anyways! Plus I sewed up the wounds just fine so that now you won't be losing any extra blood while I dissect you!"  
Italy said that like it was a bowel of Pasta.  
Germany just wiggled his amputated limps like a bug on its back that couldn't get right side up again.  
Sighing, Germany had given up. He just nodded numbly.  
"Ah, fantastico!" Italy exclaimed, grabbing a scalpel and creating a large 'I' shaped incision on his chest.  
Germany felt about to vomit as he felt his flesh peel open, exposing all of his humming organs, floating in blood.  
"Ooh, this is interesting. I never got a chance to try this on Prussia. He never lasted this long. You're way awesomer than he is."  
"Vut?!" Germany yelled for the first time since his throat had been burned so brutally, the loss of his tongue still giving him yet another cause for a speech impediment as his heart rate shot up and blood began to spurt into the air.  
"Oh, calm down, Doitsu…" Italy whispered soothingly into his ear "I said that you were the awesome one."  
This did not help as Germany began to write and flail even more ferociously.  
Italy had killed his brother?!  
As if reading Germany's mind, Italy paced around the room, speaking of "The Awesome Prussia".  
"Si. He was very weak." Italy simpered. "And you thought that I cried a lot! I kind of thought that you would cry too, but you haven't. And that's impressed me. Now pleeeease stop moving so much! You're making blood go everywhere! I want to save some of it for the cannoli!"  
Germany gave a horrified glare.  
"Oh, yeah. I use that in the cannoli, mostly. But some of the other blood goes into the pasta sauce! And guess what I use to make the meatballs?"  
Germany gagged and fared in keeping the contents of his stomach, but only by a margin.  
"Doitsu, why are you acting like that? You've eaten it before and you loved it! Even if you were a little unwilling at first, I made you eat it and you loved it!"  
Germany slowed his floundering as he began to feel weak and light-headed and for once took the time to feel the hot, sticky blood pouring out of his body and he knew it was only a matter of time.  
Italy now loomed over him, close to him. "Oh, no! Doitsu! I told you to stop moving but no! You never listen to me, after all- I'm just a weak little country, right?! Right?! Ri-!"  
Germany groaned and with the last bit of strength he had left and the dizziness he held in his head, he leaned upwards and caught Italy's curl in his teeth.  
"Wha-?!" Italy cried out, swiping his hand up to his curl protectively.  
"…Ti…amo…" Germany mumbled in some of the Italian that he actually knew. Before Italy stared at Germany in devastation of what he had really just done and Germany took his last breath and everything went black.  
That time Germany dreamt of his childhood. The truth of who he was came rushing back. A black hat and cape…he was just coming back from war…he had not died…Chibitalia was waiting for him!  
Everything that was ever Germany just disappeared. The Axis and the Allies to him…he might as well have never even known who they were. He had to get back to Chibitalia! He was Holy Rome…he always was…and always will be…

"Oh, Italy-kun!" Italy turned and smiled as he saw Japan, walking towards him, quickly.  
"That picnic the other day was wonderful."  
"Thank you Japan! Veh~"  
"But…ah…might I ask you where Germany-San went? It was all of a sudden. And it didn't seem much like him…"  
Italy's eyes opened and he grinned at his friend.  
"That reminds me…I have a surprise for you! It's at my house! Come on, veh!~"  
"Oh, arigatou, Italy-kun. Sure. I will come by later."  
"No!" Italy yelled, rather weightily. "…now? Please?"  
Japan was a bit taken aback by the powerful opposition to his response, but nonetheless concurred.  
"Fantastico!" Italy exclaimed.

"Keep your eyes closed, Japan!"  
"H-Hai. They are. Now what is the surprise?"  
"Wait…okay…Now open!"  
Italy jumped in jubilee as Japan was exposed to the macabre display of organs and blood decorating Italy's basement creatively, with the one and only Dismembered Germany as centerpiece as his body was hollowed out and refilled with cottony fluff, his mouth and eyes stitched shut.  
"And- I got you more meat for your sushi!" Italy beamed, holding up a tray of raw, still bloody flesh, taken from the large nation.  
Italy rushed up and wrapped Japan in a great, big hug.  
"Isn't it Wonderful, Japan?"  
Japan's eyes widened and his skin went so pale he almost looked like a ghost as his hands began to shake uncontrollably.  
"I-Italy-kun…" Japan whimpered faintly.

"I told you not to touch me!"


End file.
